Learning How to Use Emotional Intelligence

Are you applying any emotional intelligence? 

First of all, what is emotional intelligence? 

• Tell me how you developed your emotional intelligence and what the catalysts were to help you develop into who you are today.
• Tell me what you are continuously working on to improve your emotional intelligence.

If you can explain your experience and forward planning to these two, chances are you understand what emotional intelligence is and know how to apply it.

Regardless of if this is a new topic for you, or maybe you’ve been pruning your skills, today we will discuss emotional intelligence and how is applicable in everything you do.

Intro

If you have read any of my articles, I’ve given you insight into my life and how I was able to grow professionally.

Much of that growth is centered around self-development and investing. I feel investing is so broad, but also so defined in it’s applications.

Investing in yourself is not only finding pathways to freedom, but it is also investing into yourself personally to continuously become a better person. 

Afterall, in anything related to life, we all deal with people. So, people skills is the universal multiplier whether you realize it or not. 

See our article titled Universal Multiplier: People Skills for more on this topic, if you haven’t already.

So now, let’s discuss how can you start to acknowledge and develop your emotional intelligence.

Development

So starting of, your development into understanding emotional intelligence is a journey.

Here are a few steps that relate to your growth in understanding emotional intelligence.

1. You need to understand yourself and your defined character behavior so that you can understand others defined character behaviors. This is necessary so your engagement with others grows better. This understanding will help your engagement skills with people like you and people not like you.
2. Next you need to understand self-awareness so that you your actions, words and body language present what you intend to present. Many times our intentions and other people’s perceptions do not align. This happens primarily when you are not self-aware and you have very little understanding of others.
3. Next, after understanding your self-awareness, you’ll learn to deliver your words, actions and body language in a manner to improve how your messages are received.
4. When you have direct understanding that your actions, words and body language are receiving the intended perception by the recipients, you can now focus on delivering messages the same way to a broader audience. People will not only understand your intentions better, but you will also have better relationships whether one-on-one or in a group setting.

As you improve your emotional intelligence, your engagement, teamwork and ability to communicate grows. 

It is often difficult to gage how you react and think in different scenarios. These are the scenarios that cause your emotional reactions and responses. 

Many times, these are situations where someone may be giving you feedback, or you may be in an interaction when you or the other person is angry, sad, stressed or happy.  

Generally, how you communicate in different settings are the tests.

• See a brief emotional intelligence test here to see how you score. It only takes a few minutes.

Next, let’s discuss application of when emotional intelligence may be needed.

Application

Although many steps were explained, many interactions are going to vary widely based upon the actual emotion that is present from you and the other person. 

Whether you are interacting with family, coworkers, peers, friends, children or business partners, your reactions matter.

Having a conversation with someone versus delivering a message to a crowd or group, will also be different. 

In any given situation, whether at work, at the gym, at church, in a public store, at home, in traffic or anywhere out in public, atmospheres change. In any interaction or atmosphere, your intellect on emotional intelligence could be challenged.

Sometimes, it could be a professional setting that determines your growth potential and it could be an event where your life/safety (or someone else’s) is on the line based upon your reaction. 

Life is very interesting. How you use your emotions ultimately is an integral part of your personal outcomes whether personal or business related.

This alone, is why positivity is an integral part of having emotional intelligence.

Emotions can run high, but your ability to understand your environment, self awareness, your actions and words, mean a lot. If you took the emotional intelligence test, linked above, you’ll see how you perform in different emotional scenarios. 

• Here is the link again if you want to take the test. (It takes about 3-5 minutes.)

Ultimately, fear, discomfort, passion, stress, love, excitement, attraction, regret, resentment, and many others are common emotions that could be pumping through your veins when a response, action or reaction is upon you. 

In these situations, this is where your preparation for times like this will be most important. 

These are key moments that could allow you to grow or cause you to fail.

Conflict

Conflict is the point where growth is either achieved or not achieved. 

When people have opposing feelings, it can easily get combative and two immature individuals will never meet a point of reconciliation. 

It could also be an opportunity to understand each other better, arrive at a solution and change behaviors for better outcomes in the future. This is growth.

People often respond in a manner where they have seen success and usually this relates to the atmospheres they are familiar with and their personal survival skill experiences.

Some people have natural success due to their upbringing and the qualities instilled in them that promote better people skills. 

However, most people have not grown themself in a manner that is professionally production nor have they reached the point of being capable of such a leadership characteristic.

Most of this development in personal improvement is developed in trusting environments outside of your adolescent home.

Home is usually where the most trust is present. However, in the work atmosphere, where we spend a third of our time in life, trust is a lot less common.

People are usually focused on growing themselves and not seeing the benefit in supporting another teammate. 

Therefore, with work atmospheres like this being common, most of us hit a barrier in self-development.

Application of your skillset most times is instinctual, based upon your experiences. However, what you want to acknowledge and prune, are those instinctual responses that need improvement, and begin working on them.

This leads us to a very common tactic of trying to remain invulnerable or the defensive state.

Defense

Unfortunately most people lead their lives in a defensive state. 

Meaning they trust no one and they must protect themselves from what others are capable of doing to them. This could in a direct or indirect manipulative manner. 

The practice of people striving to remain invulnerable is very common. 

What must be realized, is that if you are focusing on remaining invulnerable, it says that you also do not trust the environment you’re in.

Only when someone has had experience in an atmosphere of trust, is growth capable. 

Unfortunately, if you don’t experience a trusting atmosphere at home or at work, you will find it extremely difficult to have the privilege of gaining the experience of self-developing. 

Usually 90% or more of your time, is in spent between home and work.

Stay positive and begin your journey today.

Conclusion

This is a connecting topic with many other topics we could elaborate on. 

Find more knowledge on this topic here in recommended book called Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry.

Hopefully this article has helped your acknowledgement of the importance of emotional intelligence. Self development, growth and positivity is our intention.

Thanks for joining us today faithful readers – future leaders. 

Love ya and continue to strive for growth.

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Please comment your experience in gaining emotional intelligence and how it has helped you.