Learning How Conflict is Healthy and Needed for Growth
How are you addressing conflict?
Yes; if something or someone is affecting you in some way, shape, or form, how are you addressing it?
Conflict is the doorway to growth.
Most people never knock on the door, touch the handle or open the door.
Some won’t even look at the door.
Metaphorically speaking, this is how conflict is addressed most of the time.
People would rather place their burden on someone else’s shoulders, to correct the scenario, versus dealing with it themselves.
Anyone who has been in a leadership role, has experienced this head-on.
However, the growth occurs when the person who has the concern, addresses it, with whomever or whatever it is.
Self-development is an integral part of being able to address conflict well and this is where the root-problem often starts.
Let’s get started.
What is Conflict?
Conflict can be a person that bothers you in some form.
- This form can be through actions or words.
Conflict can also be amongst any object that troubles you.
- This form could relate to a tool, object or utensil that is necessary for you to complete a task.
Conflict can also be within the atmosphere due to the culture of leadership.
Overall, any discomfort in any situation is a byproduct of the presence of conflict.
Conflict could also be a result of your own issues.
How to Address Conflict
Most commonly, people address conflict in a manner that they are familiar with.
Familiarity connects directly with experience and experience connects directly with upbringing.
Our parents or guardians set the tone for how we address conflict as adolescents.
We then compound that with our own experiences outside of the home and begin to develop supplemental ways of dealing with conflict.
Sometimes, these methods of dealing with conflict is healthy and sometimes they are not.
Avoidance is not dealing with conflict.
So, let’s not think that ignoring the issue is a solution.
A positive mind-state, consideration for others, and self-awareness are the starting points to dealing with conflict well.
Positive Mind-State –
Positivity allows you to establish a base of initiating how you’ll address the concern. Often, a person may not have the intent we perceive they have (if your conflict is with another person). Also, quite opposite, sometimes a person knows directly how they intend to affect you. However, approaching any concern with judgement already assumed, is not a good starting point. People aspire to be perceived with good intentions. Addressing a conflict with a negative connotation of someone, can immediately cause the concern to be unresolved. Due to the other party being unwilling to receive your message, due to your judgement of them, a solution will be more difficult to achieve.
Consideration of Others –
Consideration of others is important because putting yourself in the other person’s shoes can often help you comprehend why the concern could be occurring. This can help you resolve the concern more effectively. Also, the other person will respect your consideration to their feelings once they are aware you are thinking positively on their behalf. Understand that an mutual agreement only occurs when both parties can arrive at a solution. Arriving at a solution means communication must stay open. Anything that may cause communication to stop, is a hindrance to problem solving.
Self awareness is ideal because high comprehension of your own body language, facial expressions, tone, verbiage, delivery and many other things, matter greatly. When delivering a message to address a concern that individuals may have high emotions on, the outcome can really be affected by both parties’ ability to communicate. Great communicators, not only understand themselves well, but they understand others well also. This is why they are great communicators in the first place. It means that when they deliver a message, the majority of the people receiving the message, understood the message, and understood the intent of the deliverer.
After communication of the issue has been completed, the first step of growth is in process.
The person addressing the conflict can self-evaluate how they did and how the process went.
Regardless of how it went, they will have done something they’ve never done before and they’ll learn from their experience.
Being positive, allows you to not have any regrets on your own behalf and will allow you to self-evaluate your performance constructively.
These are byproducts of healthy growth.
If both people were able to arrive at solutions and commitments to improve the concern, they both have grown individually and together.
Their communication and ability to understand each other will become more positive going forward.
Exercising the ability to address conflict helps create much better teams.
A true team will always look to help each other, where they can, to enhance the performance of the overall team.
Always focus on self-development and your own ability to achieve growth.
Regardless of the conflict, be a proponent of healthy change.
Conflict is healthy if approached correctly.
Thanks for joining us today faithful readers – future leaders.
Love ya and continue to strive for growth.
Please comment your experience with addressing conflict and your most successful challenges.